Tuesday, July 21, 2009

three. and the rest of the day to yourself.

good morning to you :]

[if this is your first time hearing this greeting from me, then it is very nice to meet you. i'm chris porter. let's be friends.]

it's always morning. can't you see? always.

i am a strong believer in happiness. there are so many reasons to be sad. infinitely many. at any given moment, you have every reason in the world to be sad, to hate your life, to loathe others, to be depressed, to feel ashamed. to wish to be alone, to wish to be gone, to wish you never were. nobody can stop you. pick a reason. any reason. they're out there. grief and misery are easy to come by.

all these reasons to be sad.. and you only need zero reasons to be happy.

everyone you know, you and yours truly included, carries around great bags of unhappiness. in every individual's bag lies all of that person's sorrow. all of her regrets, all of her bad memories, all of her fears, her worries, her anxieties. she carries with her, always, her abandoned hopes, her shattered dreams, her grudges. anything that binds her to sadness. disappointments, self-hatred, blame, anger, betrayal... sometimes, the knowledge that she could have done better. that she could have been better.

...it is a lot to deal with.

sometimes, we just need to let some of it go. there are some trinkets we keep in our bags.. some things so old that we can't even remember why we let them weigh us down. there are some things that seem so horrible that no matter how long we have them, we can't ever let them go.

-sigh- i wish i could learn to permanently lose mine.

i wish i could put in a request for a larger bag. i could take other people's bags from them, and empty their contents into my own.. then they wouldn't be weighed down as much. and they could run around, and jump and skip and climb trees, laughing and singing songs.

okay, so you can laugh and sing songs even if you are carrying around a heavy bag, sure. just shush and go along with my metaphor :p

and we can learn to empty ours on our own. or leave home without them. when you wake up, you make a wide variety of decisions that affect the rest of your day.

"hmm, i feel like special k this morning. i'll wear my old beat up slip-ons today, because who knows when i might want to run barefoot. i should probably wear clothes. FUCK how i look. and who needs that stupid heavy bag, anyway? i'm going to have a good day today, damn it".

...and that is what i wish to you.

a good morning. in the morning, nothing's had a chance to go wrong yet. you get to start fresh. you can wear your favourite smile and nobody can tell you not to. so it doesn't matter if we're burning in the afternoon sun or rendezvousing just after sunset, i want you to have a good morning. a fresh start. it's my way of telling you, "hey, kid. i don't know what you've done until now, and i don't really care. whether or not you were angry or sad or happy or bored.. doesn't matter. you're with me. and you might have cried and screamed yourself to sleep last night, but it's morning now.

"let's make this fucking beautiful". :)

1 comment:

c said...

i'll never question your "good mornings" again, good morning!