Friday, July 24, 2009

four. an old friend.

be happy. it's pretty simple, you know? it just seems so... impossible. we're so used to all this negative stuff ["stuff" (stuf), n. - the greatest tool of an aspiring writer] in our lives all the time. do you know what happiness is? don't give me a definition.

he's just a boy, for crying out loud. he wants to make his mama love him. it's easy for him to get along with the other kids on the school playground. everybody loves him then, and they let him into their lives and into their homes. they invite him over for dinner, and he warms the hearts of families wherever he goes.

thing is.. he doesn't really age the way you and i do. he stays like that, just a boy, wanting to play and to jump and to dance around on the monkey bars. to sing at the top of his lungs and to scream from the bottom of his heart. he still likes to get dirty, and he'll even hold your hand, cooties or otherwise.

a lot of us.. we grow older, and that stuff becomes less cool. we'll still let him hang around us, and really, he's such a sweet kid. he wants to make us laugh, and he's usually successful. but nobody really plays with him anymore. not like we all used to. he'll come over for dinner every once in a while, but when he leaves, the smiles leave with him.. the jokes end, and the trouble starts..

and then we grow up. don't know when it happens, really. not too many of us are aware of it. i think it must happen overnight. but suddenly, we have responsibilities and jobs and a lack of free time. we can't play, kiddo, sorry. but we want to. we just can't.

can't.

i don't get that word. it's never true unless you speak it. why feed it? why allow it to have any kind of control over you?

so the kid.. poor kid.. because you think you "can't", this poor kid has to play by himself. nobody has time for him. nobody wants some kid around, and you might think it's too late anyway.

but he forgives.

you can let him back in. you can invite him over for dinner. you can loosen your goddamn tie every once in a while and play on a fucking swingset. haha, laugh a little. smile a little more. go out and embrace the sun. drink it all in, and stumble home in a blissful stupor.

don't be embarassed.

your childhood is showing. reminisce. live. love. laugh.

i'm sorry for being so depressing. i try to be optimistic. i try to see the bright side of things. i like to. and i would love to write more to try and put that gorgeous smile on your face, but if you'll excuse me, i have to pay a visit to an old friend.

because i CAN.

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